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Getting to know another

My brother was in town tonight and he had dinner with us. We have 2 girls, ages 3 & 6. Throughout the evening my brother would give the girls ultimatums to finish something, clean something, do something, etc…

We live in a home that is defined by natural consequences. Sure, at times we are at our breaking point and in a fluster, we spout random words that hold little to no bearing for the girls to listen. Why would it? We never really force our girls to do anything… we do allow natural consequences to be the outcome. So when my brother said “do you know what happens when I count to 3?” To our girls, they really do not know, what does happen at 3? They sit and wait to find out. I chuckle. The forces, power and limits of choice have only pushed my girls further into not listening to direction.

That short story is why I am here and doing this blog. I hear parents daily use language in counter productive ways. Over time people become exhausted and just start yelling. Maybe it is a hearing issue. Even as I write, I hear a visitor to our small mountain town yelling at her two children to get to bed and it is 9:38pm. What is happening? Why are the children up? How does keeping the child up build relationship? I wonder about all of this stuff.

So I went to graduate school and in this process I learned some key concepts that brang clarity to some of my “why” questions I have about parent/child interactions… I say all of this as I hear the amazing little boy singing an impromptu song about the stars at 9:42pm. The parents are loving it!

Now at 9:45, he has been singing for 10 minutes. Back Street Boys, watch out! The interactions I get to witness outside the summer windows brings me joy and curiosity to learn more. Will you join me?

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